September 1st 2019
Day 156 / 365 || Week 25
The last night of Burning Man is a special one, it’s the last of the burns when it comes to the Temple. The circle of people who surround this last burn has a contrasting atmosphere from the night before when the Man burns. During Temple burn the mood fills the air with a quiet, somber, and spiritual tone. It’s a place where we come to gather to reflect. It gives space for everyone to think about the the time and experiences we all have made together at this utopia, and a place to thank and remember the ones who are no longer with us, and who have given us the memories and gratitude we hold for them. It was very emotional for me personally. I was pondering how I just lived one of the best weeks of my life, and I cried as the temple fell to the ground. I wept for a lot of reasons, but one being how blessed and bound my spirit and soul felt for being in such a beautiful place with a community who really knows how to feel the feels, and for the ones who had been here before us that have been able to pass on this gift of being alive. Really living. Really feeling.
I didn’t take any photos of this, but I was able to pull a few of these images from a few of my friends out there who captured these moments.
September 2nd 2019
Day 157 / 365 || Week 25
I made it back to the default world after driving 18 hours. I drove it alone and had time to soak in all the memories that had just been created and wired into my mind, and I believe they will be there for life. I made it back to my default home and I will be in Seattle for one more month. Welcome back to the real world.
September 3rd 2019
Day 158 / 365 || Week 25
This doesn’t feel real. From Burning Man to corporate jobs. I started up another program and I’ll be working Visa until the end of the month. I will get my time in with this city before I depart it, because this ones requires me to explore different shops and merchants all over downtown until I have hit my goal. The upside of this is that I have a place of my own downtown for a month, which makes my life so much easier in so many ways.
September 4th 2019
Day 159 / 365 || Week 25
Day one of soaking up this sun while on the job. Walking around in such a beautiful city of Seattle has me in high spirits on days like this. I know that Summer is coming to a close here, and the weather will turn from the Emerald city that is known for to the gloomy state it regresses to once fall approaches. I’m soaking it in as long as I can.
September 5th 2019
Day 160 / 365 || Week 25
Home sweet home. I’m in it and it feels like my element, but I also know that being comfortable has been one of my struggles in this life. I don’t understand why that I operate this way. When I stay somewhere for a prolonged period of time it starts to feel stagnant. If I stay somewhere for too long, and get too comfortable I start to get the feeling that I am not doing enough in this life.
I love the view I have from my apartment. I love how cozy I have made it. I love how it feels like my space. I love that I feel like this in these momentary moments.
September 6th 2019
Day 161 / 365 || Week 25
September 6th - 2017. Traverse City, Michigan.
2 years ago on this day I just got done exploring a state I never thought I would ever be in, nonetheless road tripping all the way up the UP. I find that when I am walking around small town with cute little mom and pop shops I always try to find the music store. I have usually found them tucked in between a bakery and a bookstore. These music shops always have so much character, from the instruments to the people. There are talents found inside these walls. I find when I walk in there is some type of jam happening, from either a customer, to a cashier, or sometimes even both at the same time. My favorite line of all time is “Jams that will lead you to the land that’s promised” - which you can find just by walking into an unfamiliar store in an unfamiliar town, and it will make me feel right at home.
September 7th 2019
Day 162 / 365 || Week 25
I didn’t realize how much time I would not be having on my hands when getting back from the Burn. It has taken me a week to clean up everything. From countless piles of laundry, to keeping that hustle and grind on event work, to finally vacuuming, washing, detailing Stan and everything in it. Deplayaing is no joke. Once you think it’s gone, it comes back.
Oh yeah. I also did all this while catching a cold and trying my best to keep a good attitude. It’s been real. Real tiring.
September 8th 2019
Day 163 / 365 || Week 25
In the last few months I’ve started to clean up my “friend” closet. I’m not talking Facebook related, I’m talking real life friendships. From family to friends. If you know me, you know that I cherish my friends to an extreme. My friends are the closest thing that I am grateful for.
I dearly love these people I do call friends, which stretch from all over the globe. Sadly, some of these people I love are the people I have to let go from my current life. I still love them, but some of them are no longer serving me. Some feel like a crutch, others don’t put in the effort to understand how I operate. Some of these friendships feel like I’m just holding onto them like a distant memory. It’s really time to clean the closest of who I want in my life. Some of these “friends”’are ones which have been holding me to a standard which is not reasonable nor who have been inspiring me in any direction. It’s time that I take them off the back burner, turn off the heat and put them away.
I truly want the people in my life who are my friends to feel like a family to me. These people are the ones who can forgive me for things that can be forgiven, for the small mistakes I make (because I am human like the rest of us). Ones that understand that life gets in the way sometimes. Ones that can root me on as much as I do them, even if our lives are not at all similar in our day to day. Ones who don’t have an immediate temper and blow up at any given chance. Ones who think of asking “How are you?”, “How are you feeling?”, “How is life going on your end?”.
Like a light switch, sometimes friends unexpectedly turn into acquaintances, and you didn’t even feel the light go out until it is too late.
The question I’ve been recently facing is “When is it time to stop giving them my attention and affection when it’s not reflected or reciprocated?”. The time is now. The time is here. I am in a new chapter of my life right now and I am all accepting of new relationships with people who want to keep building up what we have, leaving it behind or starting new. I am listening to my heart.